My Space.

I was wishing for a long time that my college would get over soon. But now when finally it has…………it feels kind of weird……A very mixed feeling I must say. Finally I am done with BMM and out in this world, on my own. I want to live alone for a while…….without my family……..without my old friends. Into a new world where I don’t know anyone and no one knows me. Where if I want 2 be out at night I don’t have 2 think that I have a family back home where my parents will be waiting for me. Where I don’t have 2 abide by the rules of my parents and live the way I want. Where if I want 2 go out with my boyfriend I can hold his hand on the road and not think that someone might just see me. Where I can go out 2 a disco and experience the thrill of it, where I can try a cigarette just once and feel the kick of it, where once I can get drunk totally and don’t have to feel guilty about doing so. Where I can fulfill my dreams of seeing the world and understanding it the way I want to. Where I can be independent and think for myself, choose for myself ……….where I can do what I feel like……..good and bad things. Where I am given the freedom to be myself without thinking twice about my family or my friends or of what this society might think……where I can be Pooja gautam and actually try to find her identity………through falling and rising……making mistakes and correcting them. But I am still scared. Scared of the world outside where I am nothing……but a nameless creature walking around infamous and nameless streets. Where there are hundreds of pooja trying to be what I want to be….and another hundred who already are at that level. Where there will be no mom to feed me and dad to fulfill all my wishes. Where there will be no brother and sister to support me when I do something wrong. Where there will be no friends to hold me when I am down…..who will make me cry and make me smile as well……I don’t know if ever I will be able to make it…but 1 thing's for sure……..I will try my best and give it all I have….